Candles R Us
Last night my sister and I went to a candle party. Normally, I avoid these events like the plague because they're boring and the merchandise is overpriced. However, this was hostessed by a good friend, and, more importantly, a great cook, so I was hoping for a lot of really good food. Unfortunately, the only thing in abundance was people. It was so crowded that once the chairs and floor were filled up, we were forced to sit on each other. At that point I was grateful that my sister is tiny.
We were packed in like sardines when the demonstration began. It became immediately apparent that I would not be bored this time, because the person showing the candles thought they could be seen to best effect if she lit them, and then passed them around the crowded room! This kept my interest level fairly high as I artfully kept my hair and clothing from catching fire by dodging out of the way whenever a new novelty was demonstrated.
During the boring parts of the spiel, when no flames were coming near my head, I was able to browse the catalog. This is how I discovered that these items were even more overpriced than I had expected. At this point I realized I had to make a getaway as soon as humanly possible. Sadly, all exits were blocked by the great quantity of good friends in the room. I had to wait until the demonstration ended and the last flame put out before I could consider leaving. Cake was served, causing a mass exodus to the dining room, and I was able to sneak away.
I would like to point out, as the consultant did, many, many times, that these parties are a viable way to earn a little extra income for the stay-at-home mom, or anyone else who gets no respect or money. In fact, the consultant was so eager for us to join the ranks of hostesses or, even better, consultants, that she spent more time selling the program than the products. For instance, did you know that in only one month, if your party givers sell a lot of these things, you can earn as much as $750 worth of them? (I believe this would buy you two or three actual items.)
In fact, the folder holding the catalogs also contained a survey that the consultant claimed would help her throw better parties in the future. It consisted of multiple choice questions like these:
1. How much did you enjoy this party? Very Much / Exceedingly Much / Extremely Much
2. Do you want any of the products? Yes, a lot of them / Yes, most of them / Yes, I want them all
3. What would you do to get more of the products? Anything / Everything
4. Would you like to be a hostess of your own party, thereby garnering the benefits of many free products, bettering your life, and contributing to society? Yes / Of course, yes / Hell yes
It seems, however, that if you are actually hoping to earn actual money, as in U.S. dollars, maybe you should be a consultant for someone else, because no mention was made of actual earnings. Apparently all you need for fulfillment is a really strongly scented home.
